Perception vs Reality

I'm revisiting a topic that I have talked about a couple of times. Perception versus reality. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine not too long ago, lamenting the fact that I was having trouble meeting men (obviously this was pre-boyfriend). She told me that I was too complicated for the men on the site. Naturally, I think I'm neither complicated nor high-maintenance, which another friend said I was. I think I'm a simple person, but again, perception and reality are different. I've been told I'm too smart and need to dumb down to find a man. I've been told a lot of things about myself that I don't see. And when my friends tell me these things - no offense to any of you - I don't believe it. Most of the time, I think they say this because they have to or are being nice.

Last night I was having a conversation with my boyfriend. I don't remember exactly how it started but he said something along the lines of my having dates lined up around the block. I laughed and said that was sweet, but not true. He said it should be true. Then he said that I was intimidating. He said that when he saw me on the news, he thought that I was happily married. I asked him what made him think that and he said I just looked like I had a happy homestead. He then said that he was scared to talk to me.

I really couldn't believe what he was saying. I don't think I'm intimidating and said so. He said I was smart and beautiful and that I don't put up with crap. That makes it hard for guys to talk to me - according to him. Again my perception of me and how others' see me is so different.

I have never seen myself as beautiful. I don't think I'm an ogre, but not beautiful. But he thinks so and that's all that matters. I know that when I look in the mirror, I like what I see more and more. I know that some of that is training and getting in shape and part of that is how good my boyfriend makes me feel. I know I'm smart and sometimes I catch myself being purposefully dense. I use my intelligence to keep people at arm's length. But I am starting to realize I can't live my entire life keeping people at arm's length.

I have also started to realize that my perception is catching up with reality. I'm starting to realize just what kind of person I am. And it's not just what the boyfriend said. Or any of my friends. It's that I'm starting to see what everyone else does. I think it doesn't hurt to be told what good qualities you have. As long as you don't let it go to your head. Just as you should never take the criticism too much to heart. I'm just happy that I'm finally catching up to what everyone else sees in me.

My boyfriend is very sincere in what he says. That sincerity goes a long way with me. Not that I'm pinning my self-esteem on what he thinks. But it's confirmation for me of the change I have gone through this year. And it's confirmation that I'm starting to catch up with what everyone else thinks.

Comments

[Sheri Bush]

Yay, she's getting it. AND you are beautiful, inside and out. Don't ever forget that!