I'm not very girly most of the time. I am not one of those psycho dates who marks a one week anniversary or a one month anniversary. But I am marking an anniversary today. It's my six month anniversary with Michael. It feels like it's gone by so quickly and yet, at the same time, I feel like he's always been there.
When I started internet dating, I never anticipated finding Michael. I figured I'd go on a few dates and endure emails from freaks and spam and what not. I don't know what I really expected, to be honest. I knew I wanted to get out and date again, but past that, I didn't really think much about it. I guess that's why it worked - I had very little in the way of expectations.
I got emails from three people I considered possibilities. One didn't live here. One I'd set up a date with. And then there was Michael. He intrigued me because he seemed, even in his emails, as kind of quiet and shy. He didn't say a lot. But he didn't really have to. I decided to cancel my other date and go out with Michael. There was just something about him that I liked immediately.
People make a big deal out of love at first sight. I didn't believe in it and I still don't. But the night I met Michael for the first time, I knew I liked him. As we have gotten to know each other, I find something new to like about him all the time. Yes, he has his flaws. And sometimes he makes me frustrated or mad. But for the most part, we get along really well. And that first night, as he smiled this shy smile he has, I knew he was going to steal my heart.
He says he loves me the way I am. And I believe him. He says he loves everything about me. And I know he's lying ;-). He says that I'm beautiful. And it doesn't matter if I believe that of myself because he makes me feel it.
I don't give myself up very easily. I don't open up easily and I tend to downplay my emotions. With him, I can't do those things. He knows when I'm worried or upset and knows when I'm lying about being worried or upset. I can't hide from him. He calls me on it. Every time. I think that's good for me. I realize that I can be a frustrating person to deal with. Yet, he continues to to it.
He's a kind person. He's sweet and caring. He does things for me. He's tall and blond and incredibly handsome and I love the smell of his cologne. He's a neat-freak and I've never met anyone as excited as he is that the trash is going to be picked up so he can fill the cans again. He has gotten me to part with stuff I didn't need to be keeping. He has kept me training. He is funny. He is smart. He is articulate. He is shy and quiet. He is strong and sensitive. He has made me a better person. In the end, all we can hope for is that the person we're with makes us happy and brings out the best in us. Michael has done that for me.
Neither of us are perfect. And we have moments where we aren't always nice to each other. But those moments are few and far between. We both are trying really hard to not let our pasts interfere with our present and future. I think we're doing a pretty good job of it.
When I started the internet dating, I never anticipated finding Michael. In him, I have found a partner and protector. A lover and a friend. A shoulder and an ear. I trust him. Completely. I love him. Completely. I know that this is just the beginning of our journey together and I look forward to seeing where we'll go.
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