Under the Table and Dreaming

Men And Women

I have never been really girly. I don't wear makeup unless I have to. I own three dresses that I hardly wear. I don't do my hair. Ever. I like wearing casual clothes and being myself. I don't like to play games. But I'm finding with this internet dating thing and in talking to my friends that relationships between men and women are nothing but a giant game. That makes me sad. Though I will say that my new friend and I have avoided such pitfalls thus far.

I believe in being honest as much as possible. I don't like to play games. If I'm interested, you'll know. If I'm not, you'll know. I don't wait two days to contact someone if I'm interested or if I want to talk to them. I don't understand the need to screw with people. Life is hard enough without having someone who's supposed to like you mess with you.

Most of the time, I feel caught. I'm not a typical girl. I don't play girl games. I don't do girly things. I have tendencies toward thinking like a guy. I'm not someone who mistakes sex for love. I'm not someone who demands all sorts of things. Not to say that I don't have my standards. I just don't need the same things a lot of women want or need. I think a lot of women expect a Hollywood happy ending. I don't. I think forever is a long time. I think that men and women are so far apart most of the time on what they expect that relationships are doomed to failure. I don't expect forever. I don't expect a fairy tale ending.

What I expect is that the person I'm with will treat me well. I expect him to not play games with me. I expect him to show he's interested. To show he cares. No games. No drama. If you want to talk to me, then call. If you want to be with me, be with me. Don't wait. Just do. If we all could learn to not play dumb ass games with the people we date, life would be so much easier.

I also have a bit of a bone to pick with internet dating sites. Stop employing people from India to pad the number of people that show up on your site. It pisses me off to get computer-generated emails from non-existent men. I'm happy I seem to have found one of the real ones. And that I like him. He doesn't seem to play games. Which is a huge bonus in my world.

Religiousity And Edumacation

I haven't hit this hot button for a while so I figured I would go there tonight. As I alluded to last night, I have decided to try dating again. I signed up for an internet dating sight. And no, I'm not saying which one. I have gotten a lot of responses to my profile. But here my problem with that. I'm getting one of three kinds of men - for the most part - the uber-religious, old dudes and those who obviously don't speak English. I'm also starting to think it's a scam. Because these guys have photos that make them look normal and American. But they send emails that sound like someone who is just off the boat to America. It's annoying me to the point that I edited my profile to kindly ask those who are very religious and who can't speak English to not bother responding to me.

And really? I don't care if you are religious. To me, religion is something that you shouldn't bring up in casual conversation. I don't like being told I'm angelic and "sent by God" by people who have never met me. I don't know what it is about the internet, but people act like asses. They lose their inhibitions or think the the mask of a computer screen makes it okay to say to people what they would never think of saying to their face. My profile specifically says that I'm not religious. But it seems that these men don't read that. Or don't care. But I'm not going to waste my time with someone who is. Because we may get along like peas and carrots, but that will always end up being an issue. And no matter how much i may like someone, there's no way I'm converting or going to church for that matter. My beliefs are mine and I don't want to spend time justifying them to anyone. I'm so on the fence about what I believe, but I will say that I don't mean to insult of knock anyone who is able to take that leap of faith and believe.

I'm also a stickler for grammar and a good vocabulary and decent writing skills. I'm educated and proud of it. I don't try to hide the fact that I'm smart. I will not settle for anyone who's not smart. And I don't mean degree on a piece of paper smart. I mean smart. Well-spoken. I don't want to waste my time talking to people who tell me to "holla" at them or tell me my profile is "Sexy and Lovely and Sexy". Really? That's just ridiculous. And I'm not desperate. I'm starting to think that asking for someone who's educated and can write well is too much. But I will keep trying. After all, this is just another experiment like life.