Under the Table and Dreaming

A Trail Of Two Cities

Today was the Trail of Two Cities Marathon and Half in Fresno. My mom and her friend Julie walked it. I was supposed to be running the half marathon today, but I didn't. I hardly have done any training since the Triathlon at Pacific Grove so I didn't register. I'm fine with that decision. But as I went to the marathon and stood by the finish line, I wished I had trained and run the half.

It was nice to see my friends and teammates at the Expo yesterday and at the marathon today. But it made me realize how disconnected I've become from that part of my life. Granted, I have nothing to train for right now and have a hip issue. But I also haven't made an effort to spend any time with my friends. I know that life gets busy and we don't always connect, but it feels to me that I'm like a distant acquaintance who people say, "Yeah, I remember her. What ever happened to her." The blame belongs solely to me.

And I realized today as I was told something I had not expected to hear, that I have a busy life. And sometimes that busy life impacts the things I really want to do and makes me not so good at the things I think I'm really good at. But as I have said before, we don't always see ourselves as others see us. Lesson learned.

My mom and Julie walked the half marathon in 2:56. I'm extremely proud of her. She's in phenomenal shape and kicks my ass every time we walk. My friend and tri teammate, Nabil ran his first full marathon in 3:16. I'm exceptionally proud. My coach, Jenny, ran the half in 1:50. I'm surrounded by amazing athletes and talented people and I'm glad I was out there today to see them.

I'm going to physical therapy to get my hip taken care of. I had thoughts of quitting this endurance event stuff today as I stood on the side of the course near the finish line and realized that (1) I'm not a runner and (2) I probably never will be. Then I realized that I don't have to be. I am who I am. I may or may not ever run a marathon or half. I may or may not ever do a century ride. I may or may not do another triathlon. But whatever I do, I will give it my best effort. Just like all my friends did today.

To everyone who did the marathon or half today, congratulations. You all did a great thing. Whether it was your first or fiftieth, you should be proud. I am.

Beyond Tired

I'm still not sleeping. I wake up any where between 1:45 and 3:00 and don't go back to sleep until the alarm's ready to go off. I have a sleep aid I bought at Trader Joe's that is supposed to help, but it takes a while to get into your system. So at 3:30 last night I took an Advil PM.....and nothing happened. At 4:00, I took another one. BIG MISTAKE. Yes, I went back to sleep, until Michael woke me at 6:30. And again at 7:00. And again at 7:15. I feel like I've been moving through a layer of fog all day. I'm tired and getting irrationally crabby. I need a good night's sleep, preferably without the aid of medication. I need to be more coherent tomorrow as I am going to have a long day.

This weekend is the Trail of Two Cities Marathon and Half here in Fresno. I was supposed to be running the half. I am not as my hip is causing me a lot of pain and I'm not going to torture myself just to run 13 miles. But not competing doesn't mean I'm not involved. I have volunteered my time with Team In Training to work their booth at the expo. I wanted to do something to give back for all that Team has given to me.

My mom and her friend, Julie are walking the half marathon on Sunday. They are trying got complete it in under 3 hours as my mom was pissed they finished in 3:03 last year. I will be there when they finish. I am hoping to see a lot of my friends at the finish line. This year, I have a lot of friends who are running.

I was thinking about that the other day. This time last year, I told Becky I would go and stand in the cold and take pictures for her of TNT people. It was after I'd committed to doing the triathlon, but before I'd started training. I look back at where this year has taken me, and I think that it's been an amazing journey. Were it not for my bothersome hip, I would actually be running a half marathon on Sunday. Last year at this time, I couldn't walk 2 miles. I've made some amazing friends and met some amazing people.

If you get a chance and you live in Fresno, come out and cheer the runners. Yes, watching a marathon isn't football game exciting, but it is something to see. I always used to wonder about the people who would stand there for hours and cheer the runners on. But it really is a lot of fun. That and I have a totally different perspective on endurance events now that I've done some.

I owe you my Friday playlist. I don't have my iPod with me, so I will do another post when I get home. In the mean time, be good.

"Are You The Triathlete?"

One of the guys who has an office in the building where I work asked me that this morning. I said I was, having just completed my third triathlon on Saturday. This one was at Pacific Grove. I realized the other day that I don't blog much about my training or about triathlons. I don't know why that is. Saturday was the triathlon at Pacific Grove. For assorted reasons, I had not trained much the last three weeks. So I knew going in that it was going to be a rough day.

The biggest difference between this tri and Wildflower (aside from the course at this one being flat), it that Michael and Patrick and Felecity were there to cheer me on. I have mixed feelings about being cheered on when I'm doing a triathlon. Sometimes, I get embarrassed at random strangers calling out my race number and telling me good job. But most of the time, it helps to keep me going. Patrick was dying to see me do a triathlon. I was told Pacific Grove was spectator friendly and it was.

We got there on Friday. I picked up my race packet and we went to dinner. I tried to relax and get some sleep but I had a hard time falling asleep. We rode down to Lover's Point at 6 on Saturday morning. My wave didn't start until 9 so it was a long wait. The weather was cold. The water was 57 degrees and it was drizzling. I helped my mentees with their transition areas and spent some time with the team while Marianne, Kerry Sue and I waited for our waive to start.

The Marines have a saying "Pain is weakness leaving the body". If that is true, a LOT of weakness left my body on Saturday. The swim was awful. It is a looped course so you have to swim a lap, get out of the water, run across a timing mat and get back in. I almost didn't get back in. It was freezing and I was winded and didn't feel good. I found out later that one of my teammates got sick in the water. The fire department pulled several people out and boated them in. It was the hardest swim I've ever done. My swim time was 58:39. I was expecting about a 45 minute swim. Not so much.

If Patrick and Michael and Felecity hadn't been there to see me do this triathlon, I would have quit after the swim. It was so bad, I was walking up to my bike and wondering where I was going to get the energy to ride. I took a gel, put on my leg warmers and bike gear and took off. Michael and the kids were near the start of the bike loop so I got to see them and it made me feel really good to see them. It kept me going. I rode my four loops (stopping to use the bathroom on the third loop) in 1:59:19. Not great but not too bad considering how I felt when the swim was over. The bike ride was hard because it was drizzling for part of it and my glasses kept misting over. And my legs were hurting pretty bad. My thighs were sore the whole ride.

I transitioned to the run and it hit me I had to run the loop three times. I didn't think I could do it. And really, I didn't run much. Maybe half. And that's probably really generous. Michael and the kids were right at the run out part so I saw them when I first started my run. They moved to about 150 yards or so from the finish. Each time I saw them, it made me feel better and kept me going. Patrick asked if he could run me in on the last lap. I said yes. So on my last lap, after getting a high five from Christina and encouragement from James and Becky and Phillip, I saw Patrick. He and Felecity ran me in.

I really don't know if I can describe the feelings I had running down the finish chute. My coaches and teammates were there to cheer for me. Patrick and Felecity were running next to me. Michael was at the end. I got my medal and got big hugs from Patrick and Felecity and from Michael. It meant so much to me that they were there.

Patrick got to see what I missed time with him for. He got to see what all my training was for. He got to see me ride and run. I don't think there are words for me to describe what that meant. I also owe Michael a huge thank you. He stood there with the kids for 4:48:08 (my time) and kept them in line. It was cold and drizzly and they stayed out there and supported me. I am so grateful for that.

At the time I finished, I thought it was over 5 hours. I was hurting so bad on the run, I didn't think it was possible for me to finish in under 5 hours. It felt (and still somewhat feels like) someone used my legs for pinatas. But I finished. I swam .9 miles, rode 24.8 and ran 6.2 in one day. It still amazes me to look back on it and say I did it. That something kept me going when the voice in my head said it would be wise to stop.

While I didn't fund raise this time, I did mentor six wonderful people for Team in Training. And again, it was one of the best experiences of my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm proud of my mentees and proud of myself for not quitting. Despite how I may feel about myself, I am a triathlete.

Holy Cow

Saturday is my third triathlon. It's in Pacific Grove and the course is largely flat. I am,however, out of shape. Not that I was really in shape to begin with. But I'm out of shape. And I'm scared. But I haven't trained as much as I should have so it's mostly my fault.

I really don't want to humiliate myself on Saturday. Patrick and Michael and Felecity will be there watching and I don't want to look like an ass. I probably won't. I'm in decent enough shape that I should be okay. I will update you all on my results.

Ironic

I blog about food and cooking and whatnot yesterday. So I cook tonight. A recipe I saw on Giada DeLaurentis' show. Rigatoni with butternut squash sauce and shrimp. It sounds divine. It smelled divine. It didn't taste divine. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't spectacular. It was blah. It seems that my cooking mojo is gone right now. I made cookie dough. I'm actually kind of scared to make the cookies. But I will tomorrow night.

For tonight, I'm going to enjoy the fact that Michael is home. I'm sure I'll sleep better. I know I will. He had a great time and I'm glad he went, but I have never missed anyone like I missed him this weekend. Next weekend is the triathlon. I'm woefully ill-prepared for it, but am doing it because I paid for it.

I'm going to take a shower and read until Michael gets back. I hope you all have a good night. I hope you had a great holiday weekend. I'll be back to post more tomorrow.

The Tour

I came home for lunch on Tuesday and turned on the tv. It was on Versus, because I'd been watching the Tour de France before I left for work. They were rerunning the stage when I came home for lunch. The riders were in the mountains.  For the uninitiated, the riders in the tour that compose the main group is called the Peloton. There are riders that break away from the Peloton on stages. Sometimes they get chased. So they are called the Breakaway and Chase, respectively.

When I got home, the leaders had broken away on a long climb. Then there was a split among them. The Schleck brothers and Alberto Contador caught Lance Armstrong and Bradley Wiggins off-guard. I watched and thought that it couldn't be good. The announcers were saying that Lance could be losing his chance for a podium finish in Paris. Just when it was looking really bleak, Lance took off. I mean really took off. He sprinted Uphill. And this 37 year-old, who should be done with bike racing, caught guys more than 10 years younger than him. He passed them like they were standing still. I have never seen anything like it. It electrified the crowd and the announcers.

It's pretty clear that Lance Armstrong is not going to win an 8th Tour this year. But what he has done is nothing short of amazing. He has stayed at the top of the elite of the cycling world. He has competed with guys way younger than he is. And he has held his own. I know that a lot of people don't like Lance Armstrong. And you are all entitled to your opinion. But I think that he's truly a hero. I think that what's he's done is nothing short of spectacular.

Now that I actually ride a bike, I can completely appreciate what these guys do. They rode a climb yesterday that was a 10% grade for 4 miles. I rode a 10% grade for one mile at the triathlon and had to get off my bike. Not only do they ride it, they make it look fairly easy. It's hard to stand up from the saddle and climb at the pace they do it for an hour. Or sit and climb for an hour. It's just hard. It's painful and your mind and body conspire to get you to give up. And these guys ride it like it's nothing. They all just put the pain out of their minds. I wish I had that ability and one day, maybe I will.

I have an entirely new appreciation for what these guys do. They rode a time trial today. They were riding about 27-30 miles an hour the entire time. The only time I come close to that is on a descent. Yes, I realize they are pros and I'm a girl and have way more weight to haul around than they do. But in riding my bike and the little hills I have, I have gained a different appreciation of what these guys do. And it just bolsters my contention that the Tour de France is the hardest sporting event on this planet.

As Lance Armstrong says, "Pain is temporary. Quitting if forever."

Training Update

I was kind of at a loss as to what to write about. But I realized that I have been training for another triathlon and haven't talked at all about it. So I thought I would take a few minutes to update you all on my training.

I'm a mentor for Team In Training this season. I'm competing in the Triathlon at Pacific Grove on September 12th. I have noticed my biggest improvement in swimming. I have been telling my mentees that improvement in training and getting in shape comes suddenly. One day you look down and you're riding 15 miles an hour instead of 12. Or you run a 12 minute mile instead of 17. Swimming has been hard for me from the get-go.

I swam as a kid. I even had swimming lessons. But I never swam competitively and I never learned how to properly swim until I started training for Wildflower. And the entire Wildflower season, swimming was a large struggle for me. I couldn't keep my face in the water. I couldn't breathe. I was completely frustrated. James, my coach, finally fixed my problem by having me breathe every time my right arm strokes. It worked. My swimming improved.

But as with everything else, sometimes I don't see what others do. But Tuesday night, I swam well. I didn't make it through the entire workout, but I did most of it. And I put in the effort required for each activity instead of swimming at one speed. I was worn out when I was done, but I felt the improvement in my swimming. It's an interesting experience, this training thing.

When I started training for Wildflower, I told Becky that I wanted to do an Ironman the year I turn 40. I'm not sure that I'm capable of doing it or will be ready to do it, but I also never thought I would do a triathlon. One thing life has continued to teach me is to never say never. I don't always like to run. I don't always like to swim. And sometimes the bike and I don't get along. But I keep going because, no matter what, I do love it. I have met some amazing people and have started to get into shape.

I am excited to compete again. I know that I'll never "win" any of the events I do. But, for the first time in my life, I'm doing something athletic not to win, but for the pure joy of doing. And I love it. So I'll continue to do it. And I will fund raise again for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society because it has given so much to me, I'll never be able to pay it back.

A Different Perspective

I have a book of photographs that covers Lance Armstrong's career. I was looking through that book earlier when I realized that this year, watching the Tour de France will be different for me. And not for the reasons you may think.

I'm excited that Lance Armstrong is back. I was sad when he retired and have tremendous respect for him coming back. Which is odd because most of the time when a professional athlete comes out of retirement I scoff. It's usually a disaster. With Lance, it hasn't been. He's in phenomenal shape and should do well. He is on a strong team. But that is not why watching the tour will be different for me.

On July 4th, while most of the people I know will be having a bbq or going to a baseball game or watching fireworks, a small group of my friends and I will be at my house watching the prologue - the first stage of the Tour. As Patrick says, "The bicycles are back." I have been watching it with him and he's excited to see it as well.

But the fact that I'll be watching with friends is not what makes this year different. What makes this year different is I now ride a bike. Granted, it's no where near what these guys do in the Tour. But the fact that I have ridden competitively means that I will see this race through new eyes.

I will watch every hill with a new found respect, for I now know how hard climbing a hill is. I will watch every descent knowing how fast they are going and how scary and thrilling is all at the same time. I will drool and lust after the bikes. Those guys ride beautiful, state-of-the-art bikes that probably cost about what my car did. I will have a better understanding of the race strategy and will marvel at how these guys ride so fast for so long. Not that I didn't do any of that before. But with doing comes understanding. It would be the same as if I was ever able to play hockey. I would love and respect the game even more knowing exactly how hard it is.

I know how hard it is to ride a hill. But the hills I ride are much shorter and smaller than the Alps or Pyrenees. The same principles apply and I realize how much work and training goes into what every rider in the Tour does. While my level of physical fitness is not nearly what the riders' is, I still know how hard this race is. They ride 100 or so miles a day for 21 days. With only two or three rest days. It's unfathomable to me.

So now I will watch the Tour this year with a new perspective. And a new understanding. And I'm sure I will love it even more than I do now. Go Lance!

Monday Blahs

I had a long day. I'm really tired. I had a headache most of the day. On the good news front, I wrote a motion to compel further responses in three hours. That's a record for me. It needed to be done. But it kind of wore me out. Not to mention this weekend wore me out.

Patrick got an award at school yesterday for exhibiting the character trait of trustworthiness. He's getting two math awards and a reading award as well. He's just so smart. He has a baseball tournament this week. He plays Wednesday and Thursday at 8. I'm not happy about that at all. School is still in. I'm irritated by this. But I am going to bite my tongue and let him play.

The Red Wings could win the Stanley Cup tomorrow night in Pittsburgh. I'm excited. And I'm taping the game so no one tell me what happens. I have to swim tomorrow night. Anyway, I'm going to write a post about the Stanley Cup Finals when all is said and done.

That's about all I have tonight. Sorry. I'm tired and cranky. I'll try to have something more interesting tomorrow night.

The Thrill Of Victory

As you all know, I'm a huge sports fan. As I'm writing this, I'm watching Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals, which I taped yesterday. The Red Wings are taking the Penguins apart. I'm one of the sports fan who occasionally yells at the television and get excited watching a game. But nothing gives me ulcers or heart palpitations like watching Patrick play baseball. This season Patrick played in the Buchanan Cal Ripken league. He made the B all-star team. It's competitive and they want to win. They played a tournament last weekend. It was an A tournament and Patrick's team was a fill-in team. They one won game and lost two pretty badly. But they learned a lot.

This weekend, they had their first B tournament - the Bullard tournament. They played Friday night and yesterday. Friday night, they won handily. The beat the Lyons 16-2. They played three games yesterday. I was late for the first game because I had training and a mentor/coach meeting. I'm one of the few parents who know how to keep score. So I kept score for game 2. Game 3 was the championship game and Patrick's team came in undefeated and was the home team. Which means I was the official score keeper for the game. And that's a good thing because when you keep score, you have to pay attention to everything and at this age, a lot goes on. One play can involve 3 base runner a hit and two errors. Patrick's team played the Lions again.

I won't go over every detail of the game, but we went into the last inning, tied 4-4. The catcher for our team, Nick, played with Patrick on his league team. Nick is a cute little boy, but when he plays ball, he's all business. And he's a good catcher. So in the last inning, he overthrew first base, causing 2 runs to score. The other team was up two. Nick was devastated. Stuff happens. They boys got out of it and came up to bad. The first batter struck out. The second batter got a hit. The third batter struck out. The fourth batter got a hit. The fifth batter in the inning, Daniel, came up. Daniel played with Patrick as well. He's a nice kid and a good ball player. Daniel had made a great catch on a line drive earlier in the game. But coming up with your team down 2 in the last inning with 2 outs is incredibly nerve wracking and hard. And then Daniel hit the hell out of the ball. They tying runs scored and Daniel was on second. Then he stole third. Then the batter hit the ball and Daniel scored. They were up by one. The ump didn't call the game right away, so McKade came up. He got a hit and right before Patrick was supposed to bat, the ump called the game for time.

The boys went nuts, jumping up and down and yelling. The parents were out of their seats and cheering. It was a great end to a great game. We all did the tunnel for them (where the parents stand and put their arms up, making a tunnel and the kids run through it. They were all excited. They got trophies, and hot dogs and ice cream. It was the first trophy Patrick got for winning a tournament and I have a feeling it won't be his last. They have a good team. And Patrick is a naturally good ball player.

While the championship game made me almost an hour late for my birthday party, I wouldn't change it if I could. It was so much fun. Keeping score keeps me in the game and from getting too emotional. But man, it's fun. And I have an entirely new respect for what my parents did for me growing up. All the weekends of out of town games. All the games and leagues and practices. If they didn't fell like going or were bored or anything, but excited, I never knew. Just like Patrick will never know if there are days when I'd rather be doing something else. Yesterday, was not one of those days. It was a great day.